Advice about giving up baby for adoption?

Hi. I am a 20-yr old and six months pregnant. My boyfriend, who is the same age as I am, are struggling with this huge decision. I know in my heart that my child will be better off with a family that has set careers and set finances, but I am afraid of the repercussions of giving him up for adoption. As in grief, and whether or not I will be able to cope with giving him up, and if it will affect my boyfriend and I's relationship. I would like input from those who have given up their children for adoption, and what it was like, what the process was, or just anyone that has information about it.. or anyone that has information about how to get help or resources to make raising our child ourselves possible. Please no judgmental responses, as I will block those. Thanks so much. Any advice is GREATLY appreciated.Advice about giving up baby for adoption?
Family support, shmamily suport----they aren't the ones that are going to raise your baby even if they wanted you to keep it. There are many organizations out there that will help you with day care, food, even finding a home if you do not have one right now. Go to your local DES [Department of Economic Security] office and apply for health care, food stamps, they can help you or your boyfriend find a job! If you want more resources you can go to your clinic where you are being seen if you already are--and ask to speak with the social worker there, they can help tons more.Advice about giving up baby for adoption?
well I can't speak from expereince but I do know as you can guess too that infant adoption is very hard on the mother...probably even more so than the baby...and that both mother and baby go through a type of mourning. I'm sure Planned Parenthood offers the type of info you're looking for; and they provide cousneling to help you decide.


I think what really matters most is do you WANT this baby in your life, or don't you? Not what you ';should' or ';can'; do, but what you WANT to do, and elt that gudie you. I think what we want we end up being succesful with if we want it bad enough. If you want to ekep your baby, then by all emans, keep her/him, bc you will live with regret.


I got pregnant at 24 but wasn't well off and was actually struggling with my bf; I contemplated abortion even. Adoption wasn't a n option for me only bc I feel if I'm going to have the child I might as well raise her myself. well I decided I wanted my baby, whether I could afford her or not. And I am doign a fine job.


But it's really up to you. I think if you know deep down you cant be someone's mother right now, then yes give her/him to a family who can give her what she needs. But if you think you want your baby, then beat the odds and know that lvoe is really enough bc it's the driving force. If you love your baby, you will do fine raising her/him. But if you dont have the heart to love a child right now 24/7, then yes go for adoption. sign up with an adoption agency. Intervew families through the agency.


oh not that it's relevant here but I contemplated abortion early on (before 11 weeks) wasnt far along like you.
Whoa! This is a REALLY big decision. And its really quite normal to worry about money etc etc. Have you got the support of your parent's or your bf's parents? How long have you been in a relationship with your bf? How does he feel about the baby and becoming a father?


You need to think about how you will feel about carrying this baby for another 3 months and then having to hand him over to complete strangers to bring up. Are you able to do it?





I think maybe you should speak to a counsellor about how you feel? He/she will be able to put you in contact with the appropriate people from your area in regards to adoption and what the laws regarding adoption.





Also, depending upon where you live speak to your Maternity Nurse/Doctor about resources in your local area to help young people bring their children up. In Sydney Australia we have classes that teach you about what to expect in labour and also Mother's Group, they provide practical support and advice for first time mothers.
Are you sure you can't get any government support? Are there any organisations that will support you? I can't find these out for you because I don't know what country your in. Could you get donations by telling people your situation? Perhaps if neccessary somone could foster him, and you could visit him regularly and get him back when you have more money.


I'm certain that giving up your child for adoption would be something you would regret the rest of your life. You should try everything possible to find ways to provide for him before you make this decision.


Your child doesn't need to live a wealthy life. As long as he has his parents, and the basics things he needs. I sometimes think that children who grow up in a home where money is tight grow up to be stronger people, able to make do without, less selfish, happy to have what they can get, and don't value money more than the really important things.


I don't have any experience in this, so I don't know if my answer is worth anything to you, I just felt sad that you might feel the need to give your baby up and I had to say something.





P.s Cheap alternatives are: cloth nappies, second hand equipment, and breastfeeding. I know some people who are raising their baby quite cheaply by doing all these things.
This is a really hard decision. You should weigh the pros and cons. And if you ever need someone to talk to I would love to talk! You said you have no family support and that is really hard. So email me and look into government help from your county. You can usually get some health insurance on the baby and there wic for formula, etc.
I am 21 years old but have never been pregnant. I can however tell you that my mom found it very difficult to think about adoption with me.





She got pregnant with me whens he was 17, and had me right before she turned 18. She had decided to give me up for adoption, had a family, had everything signed and worked out.





However when she had me, she immediately fell iln love and couldn't give me to someone else. hehe. She had no money at the time but still managed to raise me and take care of me very well.





My opinion on adoption is this : I don't think it is bad and I don't think you will be grief stricken for the rest of your life.





My suggestion? Weigh the pro's and cons. Are you going to be able to afford it and buy it what it needs? Diapers? formula? clothes? Are you going to be able to give it the attention, love and care (medical or otherwise) it deserves? Do you think you and your boyfriend would make good parents?





Think about all these things. You should be able to decide on your own. listen to your heart and sit down and talk about it.





If you don't have any family support because you got pregnant, try to talk to your family. Make them understand the situation you are in. They can't expect you to never have sex it is human nature. You got pregnant. it happens. Now you just have to figure out the best course of action and you need your families support and guidance.





If it were ME, in the state I am in right now I would probably choose to give it up for adoption because I would want my child to have the best life it could have and I know at this stage in my life i couldn't give it to him/her.





Goodluck. :)