Advice about coercive husband, please?

I'll try not to be epic, thanks for your counsel.





A good friend of mine is having pretty severe issues with her ';husband (fiance). currently, they live with her mom with their infant child after being evicted from their apartment due to an infraction that resulted in him being detained for months just days after the birth of their daughter. He's since been released and is allegedly trying to get the family back on their feet to rectify his err, according to her, but refuses to find employment. He claims it's in the family's best interest for him to stay home, remodel the house, and repair her vehicle. However, he claims he needs more money in order to get anything done. Hence, the responsibility of getting a job lies solely on her shoulders.





At present, she's trying to complete her degree and is breastfeeding and caring for their infant child. She's also handling all administrative affairs of the household. Not to suggest these duties are too encompassing to allow room for work, but I don't feel she should be forced to find employment. To make matters worse, she holds very strong standards about what kind of work she'll consent to doing. She's incredibly intelligent, and he's coercing her, in desperation, to work literally anywhere, regardless of her work or salary standards. If she happens to find something, I'm not opposed. However, I disagree with her being bullied into being the family's plow horse, especially after all she's been through on his behalf.





She came to me asking what she should do. I needed a little more insight from those with more experience before lending my advice. Please assist. Thanks. Advice about coercive husband, please?
he needs to get a job! he needs to remodel the house? i thought they lived with her mom. He can't stay home and breastfeed, so it is his duty to support his family, or kick him out.Advice about coercive husband, please?
They live with her mother.





Grandma needs to tell him to get a job or get the f out.





He's doing nothing to benefit the lives of himself, wife or child. He's being very selfish and immature and the new mother would honestly be better off without him than deal with his childishness.





She's got a real child to take care of.



So she's basically going to end up supporting him and her baby ---I would get rid of him fast, he sounds like a leech! If he was really trying to get the family back on their feet, he needs to start by finding him self a job! Sounds to me like your friend has a looser on her side.
she needs to grow up,see the logic of her present satus, move forward in her life with her child and forget this loser who gives her a guilt trip to sponge off of her and her family, she can do bad/ worse on her own!!
Don't do it. This guy should have 1-3 jobs and his primary concern should be to stand tall and provide for his family.


It is ok if she wants to work, but he should be working his butt off.
Give the criminal some more money.


Criminals always need more money.
Don't do it.
The bible says that the man is supposed to provide for his family. If he is UNABLE to do so then I see no problem with her working. However nothing you have said has lead me to believe that he is UNABLE to work. Therefore if I were in her shoes he would either find work or find somewhere else to live.
He can pick up a part time job to create the extra finances needed to deal with the house.





But if he is home all day then he can also take care of the baby. I don't see the issue. He can be the at home parent and also do the work around the home hopefully in lieu of rent to your friends mother. Allowing your friend to work full or part time without a daycare and bring in money to save for another apartment.





She also could do waitressing Friday or Saturday night. You make great tips plus she could get out of the house and away from all her extra duties. (That's utter BS that she has strong standards..this isn't the time to have standards you do what you got to do for your family and for your bills.)
It continues to amaze me how women will lower their standards and put up with a man like that. Her first clue of a problem should have been when he went to jail. Oh anyone deserves a second chance but the moment he got out and didn't immediately find work to support his child would have screamed loser to me. At least she has a good look at what her future has in store for her if she actually marries this man. I guess she just has to decide how desperate she is for a man that she would lower herself to this loser.


Her Choice


Red