Advice about baby's surname?

My partner %26amp; I are expecting our second baby together baby in four weeks and he really wants it to have his surname but......... and don't laugh...... his surname's Wrigglesworth!


I have a 5year old daughter from a previous relationship and we had a daughter last May who was stillborn, both have my surname.


I really don't like his surname and it seems to raise a laugh everywhere we go. I really don't want to use it but it seems to be really bothering him. It would also mean my children having different surnames.


I'm I being really selfish?


I have several friends who have babies with partners rather than husbands and just automatically used the dad's name. I probably would too if his name wasn't so daft.


What would you do?Advice about baby's surname?
Let me be a voice of reason, here:





DO NOT use both last names! Oi! My fiance has to deal with this all of the time, from his ID to SSN to every other little thing, and it becomes incredibly inconvenient and time consuming. So, since your name is not hyphenated with your partners, both names is not okay. It will cause them time and frustration their ENTIRE lives. Oi.





Okay, with that out of the way...it's his child, too. The name Wrigglesworth isn't really that bad, and having to tolerate a teasing every now and again teaches patience and builds character, truly. My first name is simple, and yet 1/30 people pronounce it correctly...on the phone doing ANYTHING, I have to usually repeat it, spell it, and listen to someone say how ';unusual...and yet so simple!'; it is. I used to hate dealing with it, but I learned two very important life lessons JUST from having my name.





1. People that tease you about your name are not worth having around, anyway.


2. You have to be persistant if you want people to truly understand what you are saying.





I don't think that you're being selfish, necessarily, but you are being quite inconsiderate of his feelings. How would you feel if your partner hated your first name, and avoided it?





To be honest, his last name IS unusual, and people WILL laugh from time to time. Your baby WILL be teased by someone, and it may even bring that child to tears when he/she is young. As big and open as our hearts can be as children, they can also be ridiculously cruel. Children tease over weight, height, hair color, brand of shoes, style of shirt, names, birthdays, parent's first names, parent's balding, parents with beards, haircuts, favorite colors/candy/soda, about teddy bears, scars, fingers, toes, moles, pimples, favorite songs, teeth, lips, noses...





It's nothing to worry about. I can't say that it's better to give the child your name or his, but I can say that NOT giving the child his for this reason is very immature and unrealistic. Think about what it means to him, and what it will mean to that child later on.





Good luck.Advice about baby's surname?
Let him put his surname on it.


If you get wed,what you gonna do eh?
use both surnames
Use yours believe less complications
I would give the child a double barrelled surname. With yours as the registered one.
It's not that bad! I've heard worse, I think he'd be very upset if you didn't use his name because of your embarrasment. Why not double-barrel it, his surname then yours?
Since you have a baby with him you will need to use his name- it's just not right not to-I have 2 kids from my previous marriage who have his last name and 1 from this marriage who has my new husbands last name. I have my last name hyphenated with my ex's last name and my new husbands name, that way we all have the same name.


If you have kids are you ever planning on getting married? If so, you will also have that name.
You could try a double barrel and put your surname last so that when you register her at a school you will all have the same last name. His surname is daft and it would be unfair to inflict it on your baby, it's an easy target to be picked on too. Good luck.
I would keep the children with the same surname as my two have different dads, which makes then half brother and sister. you never know wants around the corner, i am glad they have my surname, because i am not with either dad now. I do not think you are being selfish, you are just looking out for your children, if they both have different surnames. it will be hard to explain when they are older why you had two in your surname and not the other one. It's up to you at the end of the day.





Good Luck.
If he is unwilling to marry you then why do you need to give the baby his surname, regardless of ignorant people who make fun of it - (it's cute)? I would give the baby your name. Do you really want 2 children with last names different than yours?
I gave my son his father's surname although we're not married. As far as I'm concerned a child should have their dad's surname, it wouldn't occur to me to give my son my surname.





My partner's surname is unusual - Painter - and yes he got teased at school - called ';Paint Pot'; etc - but it never bothered him. I mean who cares what a bunch of silly little 10 year olds think?





It drives me mad that people allow the opinions of a bunch of little schoolyard hitlers to dictate what they can and can't name their child. EVERYONE gets teased at school, if its not your name its your ears or your teeth or your accent or your hair or your spots or something else. They won't be at school their whole life.





I want my son to be proud of his family and heritage and he will also be taught to stand up for himself. Any kid who insults my son's family name may well find themselves spitting teeth!





If it is important for your partner to give the new baby his name then do so. Who cares what others think?
I say if you're not married just keep yours...discuss it further when/if you ever do marry.
I totally agree with you! Wrigglesworth definitely it's an attractive last name. Using your surname wouldn't be selfish, but it would be hard to convince your partner of that. If I were in your situation, I would probably try compromising. I know it doesn't sound like the most desirable solution for you, but sometimes you just have to do it. Maybe use Wrigglesworth as your child's middle name (if your child is a boy), or if you have a girl, maybe hyphenate the surname? You can also hyphenate the last name if you have a boy. Just a suggestion... Good luck to you! *Congrats!*
why don't you name them ';first name'; 'middle name'; ';wrigglesworth- your last name'; than when you sign papers (not the super official ones) and write their name, you can just write your last name. so your kids all have the same ';main'; last name.
i have 2 children from a preivios parnter and recently had twins to my new partner, i believe all the children should have the same name. my partners mum didnt have the same thought tho as she wanted the twins to have his name and my other two to have my name which i think is wrong unless u decide too get married... the choice is urs, ask ur daughter wot she thinks thats wot my partner done.... goodluck
i think all your children need the same surname, cause otherwise it could get complictaed
Why not use his surname as a middle name
Use your surname.


Your baby will no doubt get laughed at while in school and you don't want that do you?
I'm sorry to hear of your little baby. I do empathise with you regarding your partners name. But the baby is his too and i personally think that the baby should have the fathers surname. You have a little one from a previous relationship so i understand that. But this child will have his/her dad in their life so its only right in my eyes. If you still decide not to maybe he could change his name to yours by deed poll ? if that's possible ? I'm not married either and my 8 mth old has her dads name.
I know someone who's husband's surname was so bad that even he actually changed to her surname when they got married. Its not really a bad surname, just a bit funny - I agree with everyone else; double-barrel if you can but whatever happens it would be better for your children to have similar surnames. p.s I dont think you're being selfish at all - if anything you're practical. p.p.s sorry for the loss of your daughter x
Keep yours, think what the child will go through as it gets older and goes to school, lets hope yours is a little better.
the important thing is your children all have the same surname-yours.


it will only cause complications for them if they dont
yikes.


i thought my name was bad.
i think that you should give the child you rname because:


1) It is annoying having to explain that you are brother and sister just have different surnames.


2) It is a tradition to always take that male name ans keep the male name going like the man owns you. Women are just as good as men.


3) Kids with funny names could get bullied at school (not that i have anyhting against it or anything just thinking about the kid).








Please don't be offended if anything i write offends you it is not intended to but i thought i'd write this just in case!
Oh my! Use yours...I did because my name is MUCH nicer than my partners....also, this branch of my family is the last one there are no boys to carry it on and I wasnt about to let my name die out! Things are different now....people do as they choose....guys can be a bit stiff about it all and if he's really bent on his name being included then give the baby a double barreled name....but dont Hyphenate it...eg. Mary Wrigglesworth Smith...then you can sneaklily drop it on forms and stuff but it will be on the birth certificate. She might get nicknamed ';wriggler'; or something!
Unless you are married then give your children your own surname. Why should you be the only one with a different surname from the rest of your own children?
My ex partner doesn't have a bad surname but i wanted my son to have mine so we had the same so in the end my son has 2 separate surnames. At school he is registered with my surname but everywhere else he has both names ie Dr's etc but when he is old enough I'm gonna let him have the choice of which surname he wants so it will be his choice.
May-Willglesworth
Keep your own name, think of the poor child here who would have to live it down.I am sure the father knows he is the father.
i know exactly what you mean me and my partner have 3 children together and they all have my surname as i feel that my partners surname is a name i do not wont to inflict on my children and fourtuntly he agrees so the only thing you can do is discuss it with your partner, ask him how he felt at school as a child with that surname?
you're not being selfish, just trying to think about the baby. how about using it as a middle name?