Advice about my current situation?

Okay, here are the facts. I'm 20 (just turned a week ago) and my girlfriend is 19, turning 20 in a month or two. We've been dating for 5 months. We're both virgins, by choice, and wondering about sex. We've discussed it alot and we both want to wait a bit longer. She wants to wait until she has financial security, which to me seems like an elaborate excuse because she's afraid. I'm also afraid as it seems like a big step. We've fooled around some and it hasn't changed our relationship much. We still are together almost every day. What I'm looking for is a bit of clarity. I've heard that sex changes a relationship and that scares me. I also have typical guy fears about not being very good and not pleasing her.





Anyone have any ideas/advice/anything helpful?Advice about my current situation?
Yeah, wear a raincoat on your jimmy.Advice about my current situation?
Well your first time is always a little scary, but fun. You'll be fine once you get started and she's not gonna expect you to be a pro in the sack b/c it's both of your first times. I would suggest that she gets on birth control if she's not already. I don't really understand what she means about the financial security part. Poor people have sex all the time. If you use the proper protection you should be fine. I wouldn't try pushing her into it though, and it sounds like she's just not ready. Maybe give her a little while and then just try.
If you love and care about each other enough to wait, why don't you wait until you're married? Virginity is something you only get once, and you don't want to make a mistake. If you're that unsure of a big step, don't take it. If you want a child together, then go ahead, because babies can happen the first time. How can you be worried about pleasing her if she's never done it either. It's not like either one of you knows what to expect.
Here, catch this 2 ton ball I'm throwing! Kidding, just trying to break the tension. Okay, no matter what age you are, you remember all of your firsts, kiss, sex, marriage, baby, whether it was good, bad, downright scary or maybe like me you wanna tap the time fairy for a ';do over!'; Having sex, in my opinion, changes your feelings toward a person, I can't have sex for the fun of it, that's just me and it IS a big step. You've seen them naked, you've heard the sounds, you're laying the most vulnerable parts of yourself out there, you should be scared. By most accounts, women are the ones that attach a serious set of emotions to sex. Some men do too, but in general, women do it more often.





Financial security? Man, while it does sound like an elaborate excuse, she's already tying a big commitment to having sex with you.





Only you and her can decide if you want to take it to the next level and be physically intimate and if you're ready for the feelings that will provoke in each of you should you decide, because it's something you can't take back or do over.





Sex is a natural thing, talk to a few DECENT guys about this, if they are real men, they will help you sort out the in's and out's of it. Good luck!
Not sure I understand the ';financial security'; thing... personally I try to keep sex and money as far apart as possible. I do believe that being a bit afraid is a good thing for you guys. It indicates that you feel sex is an big deal... and frankly it is a big deal.





I don't believe it's a bad deal, but it is a big one. It shouldn't be trivialized or be made to seem like it's nothing. And yes... sex does change a relationship. It can make people closer, and it can push them apart. It can turn friends into partners, or partners into enemies.





I believe you give a little bit of yourself, and accept a little bit of another in the act of making love. Being that open and making yourself that vunerable affects a relationship. You will know more, feel more, be more to each other than you were before. I don'r believe in ';meaningless sex.'; Some people just don't care what kind of meaning they make.





I know this... it shouldn't happen until you both want it to... without reservation, without doubt. Otherwise what it could mean, is someone hurt and ashamed, and a relationship that could soon end.
when your 30 your gonna look back at all the time you wasted waiting around...its only sex...be safe but realize its not gonna change the world.
juzz wait a bit longer...besides u should b sure if u want to do it wit her 4 d 1st time...is should b special...n maybe u guys should talk about it a lil bit more....but take it slow...wait a lil longer :)
Ok.. I'm going to agree with my gal, Suthern Yankee. Financial security is not an excuse, but, REALITY is, you'll never truly be financially secure. Once you have kids, the whole thing changes.





As for sex, unless you want to marry her, you better be careful. You guys are too young. enjoy life. have fun. Travel. GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER!!!! If i could pound one thing home its that. My Gal and I know each other so well we finish each other's sentence. We are comfortable at the movie or in bed and that, my friend, is off the chain.





Let us also talk about this: Does she even WANT children? its a question you need to ask and answer. If you both agree NO, then you need to do some things to make sure it doesn't happen, because, I GUARANTEE, the blame game will happen.





Sex does change a relationship. It skips it to the next level and if you aren't ready to commit, then you better think twice.





As to the not very good or not pleasing her, WHO DOES SHE HAVE TO COMPARE TO?? You are you and she is she and well. that's life...





Slow. Steady.. 5 months???? not near enough time... as i said, get to know each other and ask questions. Life questions not heat of the moment questions.
i think its good youre waiting. but if she says she is ready, go for it. if you prefer to wait a while longer, she will respect that if she loves you. If you say you are ready, but she isnt, respect her by not pressuring her. that is true love. love does not revolve around sex.
You definitally dont have to worry about pleasing her if shes also a virgin. And i really think that you might as well wait. What if you guys end up having sex and then break up soon after, then saving your virginity would all have been for nothing. It is a big step and try not to just get caught in the moment with it.