Thursday, July 29, 2010

Advice About A Relationship?

I've been going out with this girl for a bit over a year. We are very serious about getting married and all that, but lately, we've had some problems. Usually, I go to school with her, and then hang out at her house all day. Every day. This leaves no time for friends or any real time for me to set aside for myself. Well, she has softball practice after school, which leaves me a two-hour window to hang out with friends, etc. Now instead of having that time for me, she wants me to wait around my house ';just in case she needs picked up early.'; This has only happened once (today), and she got really mad at me, which I am used to by now (she gets very mad at me any time I'm not available) and put me on a guilt trip about how my friends were more important than her. I tried explaining that if they were, I wouldn't be spending 99% of the time with her. It feels like she doesn't appreciate anything I do. She puts me on guilt trips and jealous things constantly, and I don't know why.Advice About A Relationship?
I think you both take this relationship too serious. At your age you should have more space to develop and grow as a person. Find other interests, do sports, go out with your friends. Chances are you won't even marry each other! I know of many teenagers who thought they would and in the end split up.Advice About A Relationship?
It's perfectly normal for girls to behave like this once they are in a serious relationship. I am guilty of that myself.


I suggest you back off a little, give her some space and offer her some relationship advice books(that you approve of) so that you can let it known to her gently that what she is doing is turning you off.
she's a little bit controlling. honestly the only way to prove it to her is to do it right back. she seems very young and you need to prove things to her because she doesn't understand. you should wait on the marriage until you get everything situatied and get your life back on track. i see my boyfriend every day as well, but its known if we want to see our friends we can, we just enjoy each others company more. but he goes out but just comes back at a respectable hour so i dont worry and same with me. we also work long shifts and when the one is off the other spends the whole day by ourselves or with friends. its just the right amount of time for ourselves. i used to be like her, and only way i stopped was when he did it to me.
first of all how old are you, cos if you're under 25, which it sounds like, you shouldn't be ';all serious about getting married and all that';





second, any girl who gets mad at you for spending time with you're friends isn't worth a damn, explain to her that they are important to you, as they should be





the reason she doesn't appreciate you is because she has you so whipped that she now thinks its a given that you obey her


when she thinks she has to be with you 24/7 that is not a healthy relationship, and generally signifies that she doesn't trust you





one thing to consider if you really want to spend your life with this girl is that she is never going to change, and if you think you never see your friends now, just wait untill you're married. its the rest of your life, don't settle
I think you gotta have a serious conversation with her, and point out your side. Love is not about being together 99% of the time, is about a lot more than that, it is about respect, trust, and understanding.





she is not respecting your time with your friends, and your personal time. Every relationship needs time away from each other, this is the time you allow to build trust on each other, to miss each other, and to socialize with the rest of the world.





As long as you let her run you like that your relationship will not grow much. How can you have a personal life if you are always with her, it is wonderful to spend endless hours with the one you love, but if you are always together you will never learn to fully appreciate those endless hours together.





GOOD LUCK!!!
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