Advice about my adopted children...please help FAST!!?

I adopted 2 children about 4 mos ago. Ive had them in my home for 4 yrs now as foster children though. My husband keeps insisting to me to give them back to the state. I will admit that we cannot really go out too much b/c of the 6 y/o girl. She will throw fits if she doesnt get her way and will act as if I abuse her when she knows shes got someone attention. At home she basically destroys lots of items. She will go into our drawers including my 2 bio daughters and take our stuff and will usually break them. She recently got into my 14 y/os room and smeared lipstick ALL OVER the walls. She is a tremendous handful. As far as the 10 y/o, he basically talks back alot and steals from us. Other than that, he is a great help around the house. I adopted these children alone b/c my husband refused to adopt them. I knew what I was getting myself into but I couldnt imagine them anywhere else. They had lived with us so long! Well, now I am expecting and my husband is demanding I send them back.Advice about my adopted children...please help FAST!!?
Why would you adopt children that you knew your husband was not willing to take responsibility for? That was really selfish of you. You allow these children to completely disrupt your bio children's lives. I don't know what to say about giving them back you. You have caused undue stress to your entire family because you are inconsiderate of their feelings. What if your husband is right and the kids hurt your child? You may end up losing everything.Advice about my adopted children...please help FAST!!?
You ADOPTED these children. They are YOURS now, there's no one to ';give them back'; to! You owe it to these kids to love them as your own. It's too bad that your husband is not willing to partner with you on that.





It sounds like both of the adopted kids need to understand that ';acting out'; is not helpful, and you need to be consistent in enforcing rules and discipline. Some parenting classes might help (not to say that you're a bad parent or anything, but sometimes classes will have really good tips on how to deal with kids who are acting up!) Since the kids are adopted, you could start with the adoption agency and see if they have a referral service for programs like that.





I think some family counseling might be helpful, too. Your husband (even if he's not the kids' legal father) needs to understand that you're ALL a family now, and that all the kids need love and support. The kids need to understand the consequences of their misbehavior. You and your husband could benefit from understanding WHY the kids are acting out. (They might benefit from individual counseling, too.) And you all need to talk about what it means to be a FAMILY!





Good luck!
okay you cannot let them go your adpot children are your family too and your children! please dont from the bottom of my heart and your heart too! i know she probably a hand full for you but believe me if you love them and they live with you so long you need to be a parent and learn to control them and not give them back to the government? if you do they just going to take them to a foster home until someone adopt them and what if that never happeneds they suffer and they become depressed and sad! their just kids!!! please think about it!!!!!???????
I know some adopted kids that are kind of like the little girl you have and one he acts out just for attention but his mother that adopted him and two other boys signed them up for counseling and it has helped his behavior a lot, it also kind of helps them to change their ways if you send them places where there are a lot of kids their age that they can get to know and become friends with, like the boys and girls club (i work at one and it's very helpful for kids). the little boy doesn't have as many fits anymore because he see that when he's around other kids that doesn't help him to get the kind of attention he seeks when he does that so you should consider different programs as well as counseling for her and the little boy maybe your time away from them to relax would also help you in your pregnancy, doesn't hurt to give it a try.
take them to family counseling. remember these children are comming from broken homes. They don't know how to trust people yet. These things take alot of time, and patients. I would also suggest trying sports, gymnastics, karate, things that use disiplne. Sending them back now would only damage them more.