I need advice about giving advice!?

This is a complex one so I will try to keep it simple. I was told I couldn't have kids, but conceived after 2 rounds of fertility treatment. I have wanted a baby for years. I am happily married, with a good job and a lovely house and I have never been happier.





I just spoke to one of my best friends who recently jacked in her job to go travelling and she is now 6 weeks pregnant by a 20 year old Albanian who not only is wanted by the police, but is married and his 17 year old wife is pregnant. My friend is 31 - with no job, no home, no support network and the baby's father has already washed his hands of everything. my friend is lovely but is very irresponsible and totally selfish, but she is now really mixed up and wants my advice.





I can't tell her to get rid of it because I know more than most how precious a child can be, but on the other hand she needs to know that she will need money and security for the child. She seems to think the government will throw benefits at her.I need advice about giving advice!?
i feel you should tell her to give her baby for adoption, if she cannot take care of the baby..





there is nothing else you can do...I need advice about giving advice!?
Don't be the one to tell her not to have the baby if she ends up with problems and can't have children she will never forgive you and you wouldn't know what to do with yourself.


People do this all the time ask her what SHE wants if she wants to get an adoption then thats the way to go if she wants an abortion then fine or if she wants to have the baby then support her she will soon relaise fast enough that a baby is not a pet this is her lesson to be learnt you can't just tell her what will happen she will have to experince the sleepless nights and lack of money for herself. Explain to her that the government is harsh and tends to give you as little as they can just to try and open things up a little. I'm sorry but this isn't your choice to make just tell her that you are worrid for her but will support her whatever she chooses.





Be careful don't push adoption on her if she doesn't want it


Don't push abortion on her if she doesn't want it


Let her decide
I think tell her what you just wrote, try not to tell her what to do as she will blame you if she takes your advice and regrets it, just try to be there for her and let her know all of her options. good luck x
You really can't do nothing. If you try to talk to her about adoption or abortion*which I don't see especially why in your case you would bring that up* you could lose a firend.





She may grow up once the baby is born and be able to support it.





HOnestly if you parent naturally cltoh diapers and breastfeeding children aren't outrageouslly expensive and they don't need name brand clothes and shoes with as afast as they grow.
Your friend isn't living in the real world. your situation is difficult but if you need to advise her be honest, she may not like it, but I'm sure sooner or later even if she hasn't liked what you have said then she will at least understand. The chances are she already knows she isn't off to the best start, but may not want to hear it. tell her your concerns but ultimately the decision is hers, you can only be there to help pick up the pieces when she needs you.
That's a tough situation. Your friend can probably get Welfare,so that would help her out allot if she doesn't blow the money.Are you willing to give her a little help if you see that she is really trying? I would not try to convince her to abort the child.There are many people out there that would love to adopt a child. I firmly believe there is no such thing as an unwanted child. Good luck and God Bless
you give good advice. let a loving, stable foster family give the child a good life. it often turns our so much better. i never heard of bad.
support her as best you can, tell her you will be there for her as and when she needs, as for the benefits she will get a fair few if she isnt work and is pregnant, but most she wont get until she has 2months to go, you cant make her live her life tho, if she choses to get rid then that is her descision no matter how much it will hurt you to see her do it, i understand how you would feel if she did that, but it is her choice, as for the baby being the making of her, what happens to the baby if it isnt? is it really fair to put that much on an unborn baby....tell her to think about adoption, there are many couples who cant hae children, if your friend doesnt want this one she can have it to let another couple have it
You are ideally placed to offer her advice on what having a baby is like, how to care for him/her etc.


However, her lifestyle is not your responsibility. There is no qualification required to have children and thats just the way things are. Whatever choices she makes, she will have the responsibility of caring for the baby and you are right - it may well be the making of her!
I agree you should suggest to her adoption. Tell her to look at it this way...most people wait to have babies when they are financially mentally and emotionally ready. I know that isnt always the case but anyways let her know that if she cant take full responsibility for this little bundle of joy then she should give it to someone who will love it as their own. There are tons of people out there that cant have kids that would love to have one given to them. Good luck and i hope everything turns out for the best!
the baby will eaither make or break her i think make just be there 4 her
Tell her again about her options...adoption and foster care are good and if needs be, abortion. There is no point in bringing a beautiful baby into the world if she really doesn't want it and wont go for the other two options.





If she keeps the baby then she will have no choice but to learn how to look after it and herself. It could be the making of her...and with a good friend like you to help her and support her...all the better.





Good luck.x